Tidbits
by Randomonium
Summary: A collection of ShikaTema drabbles- some longish, some very short. They will have a variety of topics. Please read and review! Will be updated intermittently.
1. Clouds

**Clouds**

Shikamaru lay on the hill watching clouds. What had started out as a beautiful day with lovely fluffy white clouds had decided to annoy him, as the clouds were slowly turning grey and thick. He glared at them.

Temari walked to where he lay and stood there with her arms crossed.

"What're you doing?" she asked.

"Watching clouds."

She looked up at the darkening clouds and back at him.

"You do realize those clouds are grey, right?" she demanded.

"Yep."

"And that means it's gonna rain."

"Yep."

"And you're just not gonna move."

"Yep."

"…even though you're gonna get wet."

"Yep."

"And very possibly sick."

"Yep."

"…why?"

"Too troublesome to get up."

"You've been lying here for two hours!"

"Your point being?"

A light drizzle began to fall, and still Shikamaru showed no sign of moving.

"Shikamaru, it's starting to rain."

"It's just drizzling."

Just then, the heavens opened up and it started pouring. It was as if they had stepped into a (cold) shower.

Temari glared at him. "Oh, you just had to say it, didn't you,' she snapped.

He raised his eyebrows at her. "What I said had nothing to do with this."

Temari tossed her head impatiently. "Shikamaru, get your ass up and lets go home."

"Nope," he replied. With an annoyed 'humph', Temari plopped herself down on top of him.

"Shikamaru, we're going home."

He looked at the woman straddling him. "No."

Temari narrowed her eyes briefly before leaning forward to whisper in his ear. "If you don't get up _now_, you're not getting any."

Shikamaru thought about this. His new wife was soaking wet, and did look incredibly sexy. And it _was _starting to get rather chilly…

"Get off me," he told her. She scowled.

"Shikamaru, don't make me get my f-'

"I can't get up with you on top of me," he interrupted. A triumphant grin spread across her face before she got up. He accepted her hand to get up, and slid his arm around her waist as they walked home.

In the rain.

-END-


	2. Ill

**ILL**

Temari was sick. And she was refusing to take her medicine.

"Temari!" groaned Shikamaru frustratedly, "Just take the damn cough mixture!"

"No," she pouted, folding her arms.

"Why not?" he demanded, now seriously annoyed.

"Because it's disgusting."

"It's medicine, Temari, it's not meant to taste nice."

"Then I'm not taking it," she huffed.

"Stop being troublesome, woman, and swallow the goddamn medicine!"

Temari just closed her mouth stubbornly as he held the spoonful of vile brown liquid close to her face.

"Temari, you will either take this willingly or, so help me god, I will force it down your down your throat," Shikamaru growled.

"I'd like to see you try-mmph!" She had opened her mouth and he had quickly shoved the spoon in. He pulled it out and she glared daggers at him.

"Swallow," he told her.

She grudgingly obeyed and made a face. "It's yucky," she complained.

Shikamaru chuckled at the petulant expression on his girlfriend's face.

"I guess you deserve a kiss for your troubles," he murmured, leaning in and kissing her deeply. Abruptly, he broke the kiss and drew back. He grimaced.

"Cough mixture," he said wryly.

-END-


	3. That Time Of The Month

**That Time of the Month**

Everyone knew when Temari had her period- both she and Shikamaru would go around in a pissy mood.

You see, Temari suffered from cramps. Cramps hurt. And when Temari's ovaries- or her womb or whatever- were hurting here, she tended to get annoyed. She didn't like being in pain.

Aside from that, periods were just so _troublesome._ There was just all that blood, and while the blood itself didn't worry her one bit, it was just that it- it leaked. Because Temari refused to wear tampons. So, inevitably, some always leaked- on the bed sheets, clothes, underwear- wherever. And blood was such a pain to get out of material, really it was. And then you're always worrying about whether you had leaked onto the seat of your pants when you sat down… it just created unnecessary stress.

When it was late, it created even more stress, but that's not the point.

Point is: Temari + Period Queen Bitch from Hell.

Shikamaru also suffered when Temari had her period, especially now that they had moved in together. He reckoned when Temari got her period she became freaking bi-polar! Her mood swings were all over the place and it was just so _troublesome_ to keep up. She also became more violent than usual, if that was possible- he reckoned it linked in with the mood swings.

She also god really demanding. He had to (under threat of massive injury) go and buy her chocolate (she craved it) and do the grocery shopping and…

And buy her pads.

That was the worst.

Shikamaru hated buying her pads.

-END-

**A/N: I had my period. 'Nuff said. **


	4. Proposal

**Proposal**

Temari and Shikamaru were lying on the hill, cuddli- er, watching clouds.

"Why am I still going out with you?" Temari asked him suddenly. She felt him shrug.

"You enjoy annoying me."

She chuckled. "For three years? Hardly. No, there must be another reason."

"Now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure you mentioned something last night, in the throes of passion. Now if only I could remember what it was…" Shikamaru trailed off with a lazy grin.

"Hmm. Could it be something like 'I love you'?" Temari asked playfully, propping herself up on her elbow.

"Yeah, that was it." He grinned up at her. He could only just see her features because the sun was right behind her head. His grin slipped a little as he gazed at her, and then he did something completely unplanned, unprecedented, spontaneous, possibly crazy and definitely troublesome.

He proposed.

"Marry me," he whispered.

Her face took on an expression of surprise. "What?"

He also had on an expression of surprise. "I don't know," he replied.

"Whaddaya mean you don't know? You're the one that said it!"

"I didn't mean to! It just… slipped out!" he yelped. Her face darkened dangerously.

"Oh, so you don't want to marry me." She sat up.

"I don't… Temari… I didn't say that!" He shot up into a sitting position.

"But you sure as hell implied it!" she snapped, looking away.

"Temari, I… you… gah, fine!" He ran his hands through his hair. "Temari, will you marry me?"

She turned her head and looked at him speculatively.

"No," she said, after some consideration.

He couldn't help it. His jaw dropped.

"What?" he exploded.

"I said no. You obviously don't want to."

"Who said I didn't want to?" Shikamaru demanded.

"You did."

Shikamaru racked his brains for when he could have said anything like that. "No I didn't!"

"You did with your tone," she said, obstinately turned away from him.

He mimed strangling her. Infuriating woman.

"Look, d'ya wanna marry me or not?" he half shouted.

She turned to face him. "I'm not going to marry anyone else."

"You couldn't just say that in the f-"

"But," she cut in, "I'm not going to marry you until you propose properly."

He stared at her, dumbfounded. "What?" he expostulated.

"You can't just say 'marry me'. You gotta have the whole set up," Temari explained.

"But- I- gah, troublesome!" Shikamaru groaned.

"And, Nara, you better keep on asking," Temari added.

"Fine."

"There's a good boy," she grinned.

"I still don't get why you won't just marry me," he grumbled.

He eventually got it right. Two years later.

Although he has a slight suspicion she simply got impatient.

-END-


	5. Pregnancy

**Pregnancy**

One day, Shikamaru received some news which completely ruined his day.

"I'm pregnant."

But only because he ended up in hospital with a concussion because he'd hit his head on the table when he fainted.

-END-


	6. Infuriating Woman

**Infuriating Woman**

"You! You are the most annoying, infuriating, troublesome woman I have ever met!" Shikamaru exclaimed one day when Temari happened to greet him when he was on his favourite hill.

Temari blinked, supremely surprised. "Geez, all I did was say hi. What's your problem?"

"You! I can't figure you out!"

Temari looked confused. "What are you on, Shikamaru? What's to figure out?"

"You!"

Temari rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "How many times are you going to say that? Why are you trying to figure me out in any case?"

"Because you're troublesome!"

"How-! Shikamaru, you're not making any sense. Would you please just explain to me exactly what is going on in that genius brain of yours, because… I'm not following."

"You… you just got inside my mind and refused to go away! All I can think about is you! You're running around and jumping up and down and I can't understand it! It's like a goddamned puzzle that I can't put together because there's a piece missing and it is incredibly troublesome! I'm just sleeping or lying around or trying to focus on a mission strategy and _you _just come waltzing into my thoughts and you just _talk_ and _tease_ and… and then you, I don't know, kiss me and strip and-"

"WHAT?" Temari loudly interrupted. Shikamaru froze.

"Uh… nothing…"

"Nara Shikamaru, are you imagining me naked?"

Shikamaru coughed and looked away.

Temari glared at him. "You were, weren't you?"

"Well, you bought it up!" Shikamaru protested.

Temari drew her tessen threateningly. "You little pervert! Why the hell do you imagine me naked!"

"I don't know! Temari, put the damn fan down!"

Temari suddenly dropped her tessen, leant on it and started laughing. Shikamaru uncovered his head in confusion.

"Oh god, that is classic," Temari gasped.

"Uh… Temari?" Shikamaru asked cautiously.

"Sorry," she sputtered. "I just realized I'm in no position to call you a pervert."

Shikamaru's eyebrows shot up.

"Because I fantasize about a certain person naked too," Temari continued.

Shikamaru looked slightly pissed off.

"But I know _why_ I imagine you naked." Temari winked at him.

He just about had an apoplexy.

Temari viewed the coughing teen in slight amusement.

"What's the matter? Never been told you're the object of someone's sex dreams before?" Temari teased.

"I… well…it's just… uh… you see… no, actually," Shikamaru stuttered. "And… well… it's… you…and… that's…not expected…"

Temari chuckled. "So tell me, Nara, do you imagine us fucking or do you just think of me naked?" she asked.

Shikamaru went bright red.

"I'm guessing it's both," Temari laughed. She pushed herself off her tessen and walked over to where Shikamaru was still sitting on the ground. She tilted he head and smirked at him before moving quickly and plonking herself on top of him, pinning his hands under her knees. He seemed to have trouble breathing as his eyes flickered to her legs on either side of him.

"You feeling claustrophobic, Nara?" Temari whispered, leaning down until her lips were merely hovering above his.

"Just… just a little…" gulped Shikamaru.

A ghost of a smirk flickered over her face as he felt her warm breath move along his jaw to his ear.

"There's no need to be shy, little boy," she breathed and tugged on his earring with her teeth.

"I'm not a little boy," he managed. "Temari, we're on a hill."

"Your point being?" she asked as she ran her tongue lightly along the edge of his ear.

"Any- anyone could s-see us." His breath kept on catching as she trailed butterfly kisses along his neck.

Temari laughed and sat up. "Having trouble getting the words out, hmm?" she teased, and quickly ground her hips into his crotch, resulting in a hastily bitten-off groan and gritted teeth on his part.

"Temari, what-what are you doing?" Shikamaru panted, getting rather flustered.

Temari leaned down again, her nose millimeters from his. "I'm getting what I want." And with that, she kissed him. The kiss was slow and languid as they tasted each other. Just when they were getting really into it, a voice interrupted them.

"Oi, shadow-boy, what the hell do you think you're doing to my sister?" Kankurou appeared to have come across them.

Temari let out an annoyed sigh and sat back on her haunches while Shikamaru sputtered, his hands still pinned to the ground by Temari's knees.

"What am _I _doing to _her_?" Shikamaru asked indignantly. "She's the one practically _raping_ me!"

Temari scowled and pinched Shikamaru's side. "It's not rape if you're willing. Then it's just called sex games."

"Are you trying to get me killed?" Shikamaru hissed as Kankurou coughed loudly.

"Kankurou, you suck at fake coughs. Can you please go away now?" Temari asked pleasantly enough.

"I'm not going to go away when this little pervert has his hands all over my sister!" Kankurou exclaimed.

Temari raised her eyebrows and shot a glance at the poor boy pinned to the ground beneath her.

"Kankurou, I think you need glasses. His hands are not going anywhere. I'm doing all the work," Temari told her brother.

"But… still. He probably made the first move," Kankurou defended.

Temari smirked. "Do you really think this lazy-ass has the get up and go to do that? Please, use your mind for once in your life."

"But… Temari, he's Gaara's age!" Kankurou whined.

"So? We're both consenting- and if he isn't, he will be soon- and… well, I don't really care about the rest. I want him, and I'd like to get what I want."

Kankurou looked slightly ill. "I'm just going to pretend you never said that."

"Are you gonna go now, or do you wanna watch?" Temari asked him impatiently.

Kankurou stared at her, horrified. "That's another thing I'm going to pretend you never said. Goodbye." He turned and walked away shaking his head.

Shikamaru looked up at Temari sceptically. "Please tell me you were bluffing."

Temari just smirked and leaned down to kiss him again.

-END-


	7. Scent

**Scent**

She smelled of cinnamon. Cinnamon and rich, creamy, fresh milk with a hint of vanilla, all enhanced by warm sunlight.

It was an alluring scent, one that caught him whenever she passed by, captivating his senses and making him dizzy. He drank it in like one parched, and she being the only drop of water in the desert.

It caressed him and took his breath away, made his head light and his mind empty of everything but that wonderful perfume, her.

By the time he realized she embodied that intoxicating scent, he was already addicted.

-END-


	8. Arguing About The Parents

**Parents**

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Temari!"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Your mother invited me."

"What would make you want to accept that invitation?"

"I want to go to dinner with your parents."

"Why!"

"You're never going to take the time to introduce us."

"You've met my parents!"

"Oh, sure, briefly. I want to have some time to talk to them."

"You've spoken to them!"

"Just formalities."

"They're not that interesting."

"Maybe, maybe not. It doesn't matter."

"But what reason on this godforsaken Earth would you actually want to go to dinner with them?"

"Shikamaru, what do you have against your parents?"

"I have nothing against my parents."

"Then why are you so opposed to this whole idea?"

"Because it's you! And my mother! Together! For an extended period of time!"

"…I'm not following."

"You two are the most troublesome women in the world!"

"…Still not following."

"If you two collided the world would explode!"

Blink.

Blink.

Short burst of laughter.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Not in the slightest!"

"…"

"…"

"You're actually serious."

"Yes!"

"I'm sorry. Did I hit you too hard with my fan?"

"What?"

"You can't be lucid if you're actually thinking that."

"I am perfectly fine, thank you very much!"

"…Well, we're going."

"But, Temari…!"

"We're going to your parents for dinner, and that's final."

"Fine. But don't expect me and my dad to be there the entire night."

"Wimp."

-END-


	9. Heads I Win, Tails You Lose

Heads I win, Tails You Lose

**Heads I win, Tails You Lose**

"Naruto, will you please go away!" groaned Temari exasperatedly.

"I was just asking if you guys are going out!" Naruto protested loudly. "You guys are always together!"

"We're not going out," Shikamaru drawled lazily. "We were working and we were hungry so we came for lunch."

"But you're always together."

"We're always working," Shikamaru countered, drawing on his cigarette.

"Oh. Ano, can I join you guys?" Naruto asked eagerly.

"They don't serve ramen here."

"I do eat other things."

"…" Shikamaru and Temari merely looked at him.

"Sometimes. I wanna talk!"

"Gaara's fine. Naruto, please, we just want to have a quiet lunch," Temari said.

"But…"

"Here, tell you what!" Temari interrupted him. "How about we settle this with a coin toss? Heads I win, tails you lose." Shikamaru raised his eyebrow at this, but chose not to comment.

"Okay!" Naruto declared, not noticing anything. They got out a coin and watched as it spun in the air.

"Heads!" Temari read off when it landed. "Mm, heads I win. You have to go now, Naruto. Bye!"

"Damn," Naruto muttered. "Okay, bye!" and he ran off.

"D'ya think he believed us? About the whole 'not dating' thing?" Temari asked.

"He fell for your trick. I'd say we're safe," Shikamaru remarked wryly.

-END-


	10. MFN

**A/N: Shikamaru and Temari have a kid in this one. It's essential to the idea I have. The daughter- Shikari, because I gotta keep Ino-Shika-Chou going- is in her mid-teens. Shikamaru may be slightly OOC in this one.**

**MFN**

"There they are. MFN," Temari said as she walked into the room to see her husband and daughter playing shougi.

"Mom, you're always saying that. What does MFN mean, anyway?" Shikari asked.

"My Favourite Naras," Temari replied, grinning.

Shikari shook her head at her mother.

Shikamaru smirked at his wife. "Yep, I'm definitely a MFN," he declared.

"And what makes you say that?" Temari inquired.

Shikamaru kept his gaze on Temari as he replied, "I'm a mother fucking ninja."

Temari narrowed her eyes at her husband, fighting back a smirk and about to reprimand him for his language in front of their daughter when Shikari spoke, a look of disgust on her face.

"Dad. Ew. Don't say that."

"Why not? I was talking about _your _mother," Shikamaru responded.

"Yeah. That's part of what makes it disturbing," Shikari informed her father.

"There's nothing wrong with your mother and I-"

"How about you imagine Gran and Gramps," Shikari swiftly interrupted.

Shikamaru viewed his daughter with a look of distaste. "Shikari, don't put images like that in my mind."

"And you get my point."

Shikamaru paused. "Right. Yeah."

Temari came and settled herself next to Shikamaru. "For a genius, you sure are dense."

Shikamaru wrapped an arm around her and drew her towards him. "It's because you came into the room and distracted me. Seeing you leaning against the wall there brought back memories."

Temari smirked. "Oh, those memories. How we 'christened' the house."

Shikamaru matched her smirk. "Mmm, that was fun," he murmured, leaning in for a kiss.

Shikari made a noise of disgust. "Ugh, I think I'm gonna puke." She climbed up from the ground. "Whatever. I'm going to find Daisuke," she said as she left the room.

"Don't come home too late!" Temari called.

"Yeah, yeah. Bye!" Shikari's voice called, and they heard the door close.

"Isn't she just precious," Temari muttered, then grinned at Shikamaru. "Wanna make another one?"

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows at her. "When I wanted two I was young and naïve and didn't know how troublesome they were. Or that I would marry a woman with such troublesome brothers." Then he smirked. "But I really don't mind the practice."

Temari laughed. "That's all I wanted to hear."

-END-

**A/N 2: Inspired by a fanart by samurai-PET on deviantART which had 'MFN' on- meaning 'motha fuckin' ninja'. Ok, so it was a SasuSaku pic, but 'MFN' was too classic to pass up, and this drabble was born. The end was partly inspired by a Jack Johnson song called 'Banana Pancakes' in which one of the parts goes: 'Like an ukulele, mama made ****a baby, really don't mind the practice, cos you're my little lady.' Yeah, I don't get the ukulele part either, but hey. It's a good song. **


	11. Kankurou's Reality

**Kankurou's Reality**

"What did you say?"

"I'm pregnant," Temari repeated at her brother's request.

"No, you're not," Kankurou said.

Temari, Shikamaru and Gaara stared at the puppet wielder.

"Um…yes, I am."

"No, you're not."

"Kankurou, I can assure you I am," Temari insisted.

"No, because if you're pregnant it means that _he's _the father," Kankurou explained, pointing at Shikamaru.

"…yeah," Temari agreed cautiously.

"And that would mean that I'd be related to him- no offense, Nara," Kankurou added.

"Kankurou, you're already related to him. We're married," Temari pointed out.

"No, you're not," Kankurou said obstinately.

Now the other three stared at him as if he had a tree growing out of him head.

"Yes, we are. We said I do and he kissed the bride, remember?" Temari reminded him.

"If I didn't see it, it didn't happen," Kankurou declared.

"Kankurou, you were sitting right next to me," Gaara told him.

"I closed my eyes during that part," Kankurou informed them pertly.

Temari closed her eyes in exasperation then. "Whatever. Kankurou, whether you like it or not, I'm pregnant."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am! I had sex, and now I'm pregnant," Temari spelled it out for him.

"No! You have not ever had sex, ever. He has never even held your hand!" Kankurou said loudly, about two seconds away from sticking his fingers in his ears and going 'lalalala'.

"But I'm pregnant," Temari pointed out the flaw in his logic.

"It was an immaculate conception."

Temari turned to her husband. "I think he has letting go issues."

Shikamaru nodded slowly, eyeing his brother-in-law warily. "At least he's accepted you're pregnant."

"He'd have a hard time denying it."

-END-


	12. Pineapples

**Pineapples**

"Come on, Temari, you gotta tell me. You haven't agreed with me about any guy who I think is hot," Ino said to her friend as she, Temari, Chouji and Shikamaru sat in a barbeque shop.

"Look, Ino, I admit they're good looking, they're just… not my type," Temari explained patiently.

"Then what is your type?" Ino demanded. "Sabaku no Temari, I order you to tell me exactly what you find absolutely delicious."

Temari raised her eyebrows, then her face settled into a triumphant expression. Her eyes flickered to her right and returned to the girl sitting opposite her as she smirked.

"Well?" Ino prompted.

"Pineapple," Temari answered definitively.

Ino blinked, confused. Shikamaru, who had been following the conversation with half an ear, shot Temari a glance and she twitched slightly with a grimace.

Then realization dawned on Ino's face, and her eyes grew wide. She started hopping up and down in her seat, pointing at Temari and looking between Temari and the guy next to her- Shikamaru.

"Oh! Oh! You…! Him! Oh!" Ino exclaimed excitedly.

Temari laughed and Shikamaru winced.

"Temari, let go," he muttered.

"Nope," she replied genially.

"Temari, you're breaking my fingers."

"You should've thought of that before you pinched me."

"You practically told Ino."

"So? I'm tired of sneaking around."

Ino gaped. "You're already together?"

Temari smiled. "Have been for two months," Temari cheerily told her.

"Three," muttered Shikamaru, "Temari, please stop crushing my fingers."

"Aw, you've been counting!" Temari cooed.

"It's been the three months of hell," Shikamaru replied, obviously still trying to extricate his fingers.

Temari raised her eyebrows.

"Ow," Shikamaru said.

"Oh yeah, now am I not only going to not let go, I'm going to squeeze harder," Temari told him.

Shikamaru closed his eyes with a pained expression on his face. "Ow, shit. Temari, that- fuck, that really hurts, I need my hands, can you please not maim them, you devil woman!"

Ino had a mystified look on her face. "That is a really odd relationship," she breathed.

-END-


	13. Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

**Have Your Cake And Eat It Too**

Temari and Shikamaru lay side by side, watching the stars. The long grass fluttered at the edge of their vision, gently reminding them that they were hidden from vision. Unless someone came running through the field, they would not be discovered. The night air was cool, but the heat emanating from their bodies kept them warm.

"Why?" Her soft question broke the noisy silence of the night.

His face crunched up in confusion. "Why what?"

"Just… why?"

He sighed. "Temari, you're going to have to be more specific."

"Why me?"

He looked at her in disbelief. "Whaddaya mean, why you?"

She turned onto her side and leant on her elbow. "You're against anything troublesome, and you profess I'm the most troublesome thing on this Earth."

"No, that's my mother. You're second, though," Shikamaru interrupted.

Temari chuckled slightly. "Thanks," she said sarcastically, "You really know how to make a woman feel good."

Shikamaru smirked. "So you tell me. Then again, you're the only one who would know."

He watched the expressions flit across her face with high amusement; first confusion, then realization, then her eyes glazed over in memory, then they cleared and lust flashed through them before she shook her head slightly and composed herself, but bit her lip to hold back a smile.

"See, there. Stuff like that. You saved yourself for me. I don't know," she sighed, lying down again and looking at the dark sky. "I don't know what I'm thinking. It's just… I mean, our entire relationship is… I can't believe I'm about to say this… it's… well, okay, maybe not our relationship, but our _situation_… it's troublesome."

Shikamaru chuckled, and joined her in looking at the stars. "You can say that again."

Her head fell onto its side as she looked at him. "And that brings me to my original question: Why me?"

He turned his gaze from the stars to her. "Because by some bizarre twist of fate, I love you," he replied.

Her face seemed to grow a shade darker. She turned her eyes to the heavens. "You always do that. You just say these things that make me… I don't know."

"What brought this on, anyway?" Shikamaru asked her.

She sat up, propping herself up with her arm. "I was just thinking… about us… our situation… I want you. I want _us_. I don't want to give that up. I want this feeling, this security, but I also want to remain loyal to Suna, to my brothers. I want both lives."

Shikamaru lips curved upwards. "Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too."

Temari looked down at him and grinned. "Nicely put, for a cake."

Shikamaru groaned with a smile and allowed his eyes to drift up towards her face. "Troublesome woman," he muttered, smiling that special smile he had only for her.

"You wouldn't have it any other way," she retorted.

"You're about to rape me, aren't you?" Shikamaru sighed, recognizing the gleam in her eyes.

"After you made that comment about making me feel good, how could I not?" Temari replied and leaned down to kiss him.

As they lay in the field, one thing was clear- they were definitely eating their cake and it tasted damn good.

-END-

**A/N: The line 'nicely p****ut, for a cake' was inspired by a similar line in the book LACE, by someone who I currently cannot remember. The whole having sex in a field of long grass- it happens. Two friends and myself were once running through a field of about shoulder high grass stuff at a music festival and Jade, who was a little ahead of Thandi and I, suddenly stopped and came running back and was like 'there are two people having sex over there'. So…yeah… that was during the day… **


	14. Drunken Confessions

**Drunken Confessions**

Temari and Shikamaru had decided to go to a pub for a nice relaxing drink after a hard days work- just as friends, of course. They had found Ino already there- and already completely drunk.

"-You know, T'mari, have I ever told you your brothers are really, really hot?" Ino slurred- she didn't seem to be inclined to leave the two alone.

Temari's eyebrows raised. "No, Ino, I don't believe you have."

"Well they are. They're really, really hot." Ino leaned in conspiratorially. "D'ya know, I sometimes imagine having a threesome with the two of them." Having revealed that, she burst into giggles.

Both Shikamaru and Temari looked revolted. "Thanks for that, Ino," Temari remarked dryly.

"Thanks for what?" Ino replied. "You know what I once did? I hooked up with this waiter in a bathroom. It was awesome, he was really hot." Ino's forehead furrowed briefly. "I think."

Temari raised her eyebrows again. A drunk Ino was actually highly amusing. And laughed a lot.

"You only think?"

"Well, I was drunk then too," Ino giggled.

"Does she get like this often?" Temari asked Shikamaru.

He shrugged. "Not so often that people should worry, but yes."

"Hey, the waiter's name was Daisuke! I think," Ino paused. "Yes, it was. I remembered his name! When I go back there I'm gonna be all cool and be like 'Hey, Daisuke,' and he'll be all 'hey'- wait, doesn't he wear a nametag? I think most waiters wear nametags. Heh, that's probably how I knew his name in the first place." Ino hung onto the counter, convulsed in giggles.

"Ino, who did you come with?" Shikamaru asked.

"Heh, I've _come _with a lot of guys," Ino laughed.

Shikamaru groaned. "Didn't need to know that, Ino. I meant who did you come here with?"

"I dunno. People," Ino said, waving her hand vaguely in the direction of a rowdy bunch of shinobi.

"You know, there's this picture of Sakura and Sai rushing- I mean kissing, not rushing, I mean what the hell is rushing, what the fuck? But anyway there's this picture of Sakura and Sai kissing and it really annoys me and I don't know why, there's like this butterfly on it and it's just like rawr I will eat your chicken wings," Ino rambled.

"Why would you get annoyed with a butterfly on a picture?" Temari asked.

"Can I tell you a joke?" Ino asked.

"Yeah, okay," Temari conceded.

"What do you get if you cross a battery and a lightbulb?"

"I don't know," Temari replied.

"A brightbulb!" Ino cackled with laughter. Temari and Shikamaru were unimpressed.

"That was really lame, wasn't it?" Ino laughed.

"Yes," Temari agreed.

"That was so totally what I was going for!"

"Well, that make-" Temari started only to be interrupted by Ino.

"Temari, you know Shikamaru totally likes you, like he told me- I think because I wouldn't stop bugging him, but he so totally wants to fuck you like seriously! He told me not to tell anyone- oh wait!" Ino found this last remark funny, apparently because she roared with laughter while Shikamaru and Temari determinedly avoided looking at each other.

"Ino. Ino!" Shikamaru said forcefully.

Ino turned to face him. "Oh! Shikamaru! Ha, I like totally forgot you were here!" And she fell over laughing again.

"Okay, I'm gonna go now, 'k? Bye!" Ino said once she had recovered and wandered off, leaving Shikamaru and Temari in a very awkward silence.

Temari coughed. "So, you like me, huh?" she asked.

"I'm gonna kill Ino," Shikamaru muttered, not meeting Temari's gaze.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Yeah," Shikamaru admitted.

Temari leaned back against the bar counter. "Good."

Shikamaru's head shot up. "What?"

Temari glanced at him. "Then you won't mind if I do this." She leaned over and kissed him before standing up. "I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, she left the bar.

Shikamaru was left sitting there, speechless and paralyzed, for the next ten minutes.

-END-

**A/N: This little drabble was inspired by a phone call from a friend. Actually, I got an SMS from Charlie (not her real name) saying 'Lol I'm so drunk now. Calll me quicklly' (extra l's included) so I did. I had two friends over, Steve (Not her real name) and Dexter (not his real name), so we called her on Dexter's phone and the whole waiter thing was in that twenty minute phone call, as was the 'rushing' thing with the butterfly, and the really bad joke- and she was saying a lot of guys were hot. And… and one point she went 'dude, Steve, Dexter so totally likes you, he told me on mxit, he thinks you're really hot and yeah, he told me not to tell anyone- oh wait'. To be fair, she didn't know he was there. But it was funny/awkward and not mentioned again. So this is semi-based on a true story. **


	15. Solving An Argument

**Solving An Argument**

"Temari, just listen to me!" Shikamaru pleaded as he followed his incredibly angry girlfriend to the Suna consulate.

"Go away, Nara," she told him without turning around and slammed the consulate door behind her.

Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome," he muttered. He banged on the door. "Temari! Temari!"

The door was wrenched open. Shikamaru raised his finger and opened his mouth, but before he could get a word out, the door slammed in his face with such force that he teetered backwards.

Not about to give up, he banged on the door again. The door opened, but before he could draw breath to talk, a large amount of icy water was sloshed over him and the door was slammed again_._ He blinked and spouted out a little water.

Great; now he was cold and wet as well. Troublesome woman.

"Temari, that was unnecessary!" he called.

"Fuck o-off," Temari replied in a sing song voice.

"Temari!" he yelled.

"NO!" she yelled back.

"Temari, it's not going to solve itself!" he pointed out.

"I don't care!"

"Temari, just let me in!" he pleaded.

"I'm not talking to you!" came the angry reply.

"I'm not going anywhere until you do!" he replied.

"Give up, Nara!"

Sighing, Shikamaru sat down on the doorstep. "Temari, I'm just going to sit here until you talk to me."

"Fuck off, Shikamaru."

"You're going to have to talk to me eventually," he wheedled.

"Try me."

"Temari, come on. You're being stupid." As soon as he said this, he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, waiting for the pain. It didn't come. Cautiously, he opened his eyes.

"Oh, you're ignoring me now?" he asked, relaxing.

No reply.

"I'm still not moving until you talk to me," he told her.

The next morning, Shikamaru was woken with a shock as his backrest disappeared from behind him and his head hit the floor- Temari had opened the door. He blinked a few times as he woke up properly, the hazy figure above him materializing into Temari.

"You're still here?" she asked, nonplussed.

"I told you I wasn't moving until you spoke to me," Shikamaru replied.

She rolled her eyes- she had obviously not forgiven him yet. She stepped over him and proceeded to walk away.

Shikamaru struggled into a sitting position and then attempted to stand up.

"Temari, stop walking!" He wobbled and clung onto the wall. "Shit, leg gone to sleep. Temari! Just- stop, goddamnit!"

He limped after her as fast as he could, wincing as his leg was engulfed by pins and needles.

"Temari!" he yelled.

Gaara and Kankurou watched them turn the corner from the consulate's still open door.

"You've gotta admire his determination," Kankurou commented, munching on his toast. Gaara nodded in agreement.

"Stop fucking following me!" Temari's screech came from around the corner. There was a whoosh and Shikamaru went flying across their line of vision. After the crash, they saw Shikamaru stumble back after Temari.

"That could have killed me, woman!" he yelled.

"Pity it didn't!" was Temari's answering shout. This was followed by Shikamaru being blown into a building again.

"And his pain tolerance," Kankurou added.

-END-

**A/N: This was kinda brainstormed (like, improvisation talking kinda session thing) by Megami Ze and I. I could imagine this happening. No, I don't know what he did.**


	16. Aw Man!

**Aw Man!**

"Dudes-and chicks- this is going to be so awesome!" Kiba declared to the collective crowd of shinobi- Shino, Hinata, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Lee, Tenten, Neji, Kankurou, Temari and Gaara.

"Seriously, tonight is going to be awesome. Think about it, people- we're all young shinobi who are finally all actually not working at the same time, which is seriously remarkable. We're all single, and… well, to be frank, we need to have some fun," Kiba explained.

"Can you get to the part where you tell us what we're going to do to tonight?" Temari interrupted.

"Right. Well. Alcohol, loud music, maybe some weed or other shit and… games."

"Games?" asked Sakura.

Kiba shrugged. "Spin the bottle. Truth and dare. Seven minutes in heaven. Twister."

"So, in short a night of debauchery?" Shikamaru deadpanned.

"Well… yeah." Kiba nodded.

"Right. Well, I'm going home now," Shikamaru decided, standing up.

"I think I'm gonna bail too,' Temari added, starting to stand up next to him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you two think you're doing?' Kiba exclaimed, leaping over behind the couch and pushing the two down again.

"Getting outta here?" Shikamaru said.

"No, no, no. Why would you wanna do that?" Kiba wanted to know.

"Because… I think it would be weird possibly kissing pretty much anyone in this room. And I don't feel like getting drunk," Shikamaru told him.

"I just have better things to do," Temari said.

"Oh come on-" Kiba suddenly stopped and sniffed. He looked between Temari and Shikamaru repeatedly and dropped his arms to his sides.

"Aw man! You guys did it, didn't you?" he exclaimed.

"Did what?" Temari asked innocently.

"You guys slept together. Last night. And today." Kiba sounded annoyed.

Temari leant over to Ino. "Twelve times," she whispered.

Ino giggled. "Sweet."

"Too much information!" Kankurou loudly declared.

"I have to agree, that was just a bit too much information, but dude, high five," Kiba grinned, holding up his hand to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows at him. "No."

-END-


	17. Scary Women

**Scary Woman**

"My mom is scary," Kiba suddenly said to Shikamaru as they sat idly on a bench.

Shikamaru glanced at him. "My mom's scarier."

"I don't think that's possible."

"It is, believe me."

"You don't know how scary my mom is."

"You don't know how scary _my _mom is."

"My mom's so scary my dad ran away," Kiba told him.

"My mom's so scary my dad_ wants _to run away, but can't because she'll hunt him down and castrate him," Shikamaru returned.

Kiba contemplated this. "Hmm. That's an argument, I suppose."

"Shikari! What have I said about leaving your room in such a tip? I'm not your bloody maid!" a bellow came from inside the house. Shikamaru and Kiba glanced back the building.

"Fine, mom, geez! I'm coming! I've been busy, okay?"

"Young lady, don't you take that tone with me!"

Shikamaru sighed.

"I don't know about you, but I reckon my daughter's got us beat," Shikamaru declared.

Kiba snorted. "Yep. Temari sure is a piece of work."

"Scares the shit out of me. And I'm _married _to her."

"Wanna run away yet?"

Shikamaru looked back to where the yelling was emanating and smirked. "Nah. I'm pretty content right here. She's a troublesome, terrifying woman, but she's my troublesome, terrifying woman."

Kiba looked at him strangely. "So you're saying she's scarier than both our mothers,"

"Combined," added Shikamaru.

"Scarier than both our mothers combined, and you _don't _want to run away?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "What can I say? It's a curse of the Nara men."

"What's the curse?" asked Kiba.

"To fall in love with terrifying, troublesome women."

"…That didn't answer _anything_."

-END-


	18. Not Counting

**Not Counting**

"Hey, Shikamaru. You and Temari, trying the long distance thing, huh?" Ino asked suddenly.

Shikamaru looked up and nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"You haven't seen her for quite a while, have you?" Ino said sympathetically.

Shikamaru leant back nonchalantly. "No, no, I haven't. You're right, it's… it's been a while since she left for Suna… now that I think about it… I mean, it's not I'm keeping track, or counting, or anything, but… yeah it's been a while…"

"How long has it been?" Chouji sighed.

Shikamaru groaned and leant forward. "Three months, two weeks, five days, sixteen hours, eleven minutes aaand…" He looked at his watch. "thirty seconds."

"Not counting, huh. Not counting at all," Ino grinned.

"Oh, fuck off."

-END-

**A/N: Throw around impro between… you guessed it, Megami Ze and I. Came up with it, thought of it, forgot it, and it annoyed me for HOURS because I remembered there was something, but what it was… and then it was cool. Review! Please!**


	19. Hooker

**Hooker**

"So, I guess we're going public now," Shikamaru said to Temari when they were at a formal function.

"What gave you that idea?" she replied innocently.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it was something to do with the fact that you demanded I take you to this thing as my date," Shikamaru pointed out.

"Clever boy." Temari patted his cheek.

His lips curled into a smirk unwillingly.

"Hey, hey, hey," Kiba said, skidding to a halt in front of them. "Are you two here, like, together? Like, on a date?" he asked, pointing between the two of them.

Temari and Shikamaru exchanged a glance. "Yes," thy said in unison.

Kiba nodded, then turned to Temari. "One question: have you gone into the hooker business?"

Temari's jaw dropped in indignation. "What?" she exclaimed.

Kiba waved his hands. "No offence to you or anything, but there is no way Shikamaru could be going out on a legitimate date with an older chick as smoking hot as you," he explained.

Temari contemplated this. "And I think I'll take that as a compliment!" She grinned.

"Thank you, Kiba," Shikamaru remarked dryly.

"So, is it a yes? Because if it is-" Kiba began.

"And we are going _now_," Shikamaru interrupted loudly, dragging Temari away by her elbow.

"Bye, Kiba! Maybe I'll see you later?" Temari called, winking and blowing him a kiss.

"You enjoy torturing me," Shikamaru muttered.

"Always."

-END-


	20. iTunes Shuffle SelfChallenge Thingie

**iTunes Shuffle Self Challenge. Thing.**

**1. ****I'll Attack- 30 seconds to mars (**_**A line in the song)**_

Run away from this if you want to. You won't be able to. Believe me, I've tried. These feelings, urges. They're not so easy to escape. As soon as you let your guard down, they attack your mind, every fibre of your being. Everything that makes you who you are.

_You make me who I am. And I don't want to run away anymore._

**2. ****The Moment I said It- Imogen Heap **_**(Title and some of the song lyrics)**_

"Ignore it," she said, panicked. "It just slipped out. It didn't mean… it wasn't true."

He stared at her in amazement. "You… you just said you loved me…"

'Yes, but… I have to go."

"Temari, the sun's barely risen."

"I have to go. They're expecting me back in Suna. I… I have missions to attend to."

He snorted. "Bullshit. You're off for the next week."

"I have to go."

"You're just going to run away, aren't you? Run away from your feelings."

She didn't reply.

"Don't. Please. Just stay here, with me."

"I-"

"You don't have to go. Stay."

She did.

**3. ****Lollipop- Lil' Wayne ft. Static **_**(Some of the beginning song lyrics- I think)**_

He inhaled her scent as he attacked her neck, the sweet taste of her addictive and not allowing him to leave. His lips and tongue traced paths down her neck, patterns on her skin. Her moans and suppressed gasps drove him on. She was trying not to make a noise, reluctant to let him hear the effect he was having on her. It just fueled his desire; making him all the more determined to make her scream. And he would; he would make her scream before the night was over.

**4. ****Dear Mr President- Pink **_**(Title)**_

Dear Kazekage Gaara

I am aware that you do not hold me in the highest of positions in your heart, or mind. I know that you would just as soon as kill me as look at me. And I know that your view of me is highly biased, because of the fact that I am sleep- in love with your sister.

By the way, she returns my feelings. I know she's told you that time and time again, but I also know that you haven't seemed to absorb it or accept it at all, so I took this time to remind you yet again.

The point of this letter is to tell you that I intend on marrying your sister. If I were not so sure that you would say no I would ask you permission for her hand. So I'll just forgo that part and say thank you, and that I am moving so you will not be able to find me to kill me.

With my deepest regards,

Shikamaru Nara.

**5. ****That Summer Feeling- City Bowl Mizers **_**(Title)**_

"Shikamaru, are we ever going to leave this field?" Temari asked him lazily as they watched the clouds being tinged pink by the sunset.

"Do you want to?" he replied.

"No."

"Then probably not anytime soon, no. I wouldn't completely rule out the possibility though. Sometime in the future. But it's summer, and it's nice and warm, so that needn't be until we are starving and need food."

"Tomorrow, then.'

"Tomorrow."

**6. The L****ittle Things Give You Away- Linkin Park **_**(Title)**_

"You like her."

"What are you talking about, Chouji?"

"You're in love with Temari."

Coughs, splutters, choking.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are. I can see. It's all in the way you act around her. Shikamaru, I've known you for too long. I know you too well. You can't bullshit me."

Blush, scowl.

*~*~*

"You're fucking kidding me."

"What?"

"You fucking love the little runt."

"…Eh-hem. Kankurou, what the hell are you talking about?"

"It's so obvious. How could I have not noticed it?"

"Noticed what?"

"That you're in love with that Nara brat."

"There's nothing to notice! I'm not in love with him!"

"Actually, Temari, you are."

"Thank you, Gaara."

"…Bloody bastards. Too observant for your own good."

*~*~*

The little things gave them away.

**7. ****Self-Inflicted- Katy Perry **_**(Title and song lyrics)**_

Every time I have to go home, I feel as if I'm breaking more and more in two. But I can't stop seeing you. I choose to hurt myself like this- you're my drug. All the scars on my heart, all the tears in my eyes that will never fall… they're all self-inflicted. But it's all worth it. I've broken almost every bone in my body, but leaving you hurts more. The idea of never seeing you, tasting you again kills me. The idea of abandoning my village, my brothers… hurts just as bad. So I'll keep hurting myself to stay happy.

**8. ****Converting Vegetarians- Infected Mushrooms **_**(Title)**_

"You're so hard to love!" Temari cried. "Seriously! You're so dead set against the idea of love, so sure of what you want from life… you won't even admit that maybe, just maybe, things like this can't be planned. You can't rule your heart, it does its own thing! Believe me, it's highly annoying. But… oh, if I didn't love you so much, I would hate your guts. Sometimes I think that maybe you're warming up to the idea of love, and then you go do something pigheaded again. It's hard loving you. It's even harder trying to get you to _realize _that maybe you love me too. It's like trying to convert a freaking vegetarian who's a complete and utter softy and animal mad and-"

"Hey, woman," he interrupted. "Just shut up for a second, will you?" He leant forward with a smirk on his face. "I'm a carnivore."

**9. ****Build God, and Then We'll Talk – Panic at the disco **_**(Repeated line in the song- 'what a wonderful caricature of intimacy)**_

The whole thing is a sham. The whole thing. All their 'couply' stuff that they do. It's like a caricature of intimacy. And that stupid blonde doesn't even realize it. Yes, I am blonde too, but… I'm not dumb. He knows that. But she is. And she's a demanding little bitch as well. That's why the whole situations like it is. I hate being the 'other woman', but I do realize that his whole charade is actually best for us. It diverts suspicions, which is necessary. And Ino, poor thing, hasn't even realised that her whole relationship is a fake.

**10. ****Psycho- Infected Mushroom **_**(Title- which is the only word in the song)**_

"What the hell, woman!" Shikamaru exclaimed as he ducked the fan swung at his head yet again by his irate girlfriend. "What is wrong with you? I just said he used to be a psycho!"

"Don't you ever insult my brother again!" she yelled, attempting to behead him.

"I said _used _to be! As in past tense!"

"You said he was a psycho!"

"I said he _used to be _a psycho!"

"It still stands!"

"No it doesn't!"

"Gaara is not a psycho!"

"No, he's not!" Shikamaru yelled.

The fan came down and she smiled sweetly at him.

"There we are. That's better."

"I got it wrong," he muttered grumpily. "You're the psycho of the family."

It seemed she heard him.

"What did you say?!" she screeched and he inwardly sighed as he prepared to fight off the fan again.

Oh, how he hated PMS.

**11. You- Breaking Benjamin**_**(Title)**_

Do you want to know what holds me to this world, what keeps me sane? What prevents me from staying lucid? What allows me to see every particle clearly, what makes me blind to everything? What stops my heart dead, what keeps me alive?

Well, the answer's easy, really.

It's You.

**12. Banana Pancakes- Jack Johnson**_**(Song lyrics)**_

"Don't get up," he moaned, reaching out to grab her wrist.

"Shikamaru, we have work."

"It's raining."

"That doesn't stop work," Temari said with a chuckle.

"Can't we just… pretend it's Sunday? Close those goddamn curtains- the sun's really bright by the way- and pretend that nothing else exists?" he asked, lifting his head from the pillow.

She smiled. "The idea is tempting."

"We don't actually have any missions. We'd just have to go get more. Let's just take a day off. One day. We hardly have any time together."

She gave in.

**13. Somebody To Love- Queen**_**(Title)**_

He had found her. As troublesome as she was, as troublesome as the whole affair was, he had found her. Regardless of the fact that it completely messed up all his plans for the future- his entire life… and possibly even his chance _for _a life, if her brothers had anything to do with it- his heart had gone right ahead and sealed the deal. And he couldn't be completely resentful, because the alternative to his planned life was her. And that seemed to be all he needed right now.

Yes, he had found her.

As much as he had thought he wouldn't, as much as he had hoped, dreamed, wished he wouldn't… he had found somebody to love.

**14. Life Of My Own- 3 Doors Down**_**(Title)**_

"Stop trying to control my life!" she yelled as Kankurou and Gaara pestered her about her choice of lover- _again._

"Goddamnit, you may be my brothers, but that doesn't mean you can plot out my life. Just… it's my life, I'll do with it what I will."

"But, Temari, really, a Konoha ninja? He's a mistake."

"Maybe, but let me make my own mistakes please. Besides, I quite like this mistake. So just butt out, okay? It's my life, and you guys… brothers or not, have no say. Okay? No say in my life whatsoever."

Kankurou and Gaara sullenly looked at the floor. "You tell us how to live," Gaara pointed out.

"Yeah, well, I'm older."

**15. The News- Jack Johnson**_**(Title)**_

"Hey, Gaara, Kankurou!" yelled Naruto excitedly. "Isn't the news great?"

"What news?" Kankurou asked curiously.

"You mean you haven't heard? I figured you guys would know for sure, it being Temari and all…"

"What about Temari?" Gaara asked.

"You really don't know?"

"Just tell us, Uzumaki," Kankurou growled.

"She's pregnant."

Silence.

"WHAT??"

Kankurou chased Shikamaru extensively after that.

-END-

**A/N: Okay, so I saw this idea for a challenge and I decided to set it as a challenge for myself. So I put my iTunes on shuffle and whichever song came up I wrote a short ShikaTema story/drabble inspired by that song within the time that the song was playing (I liked the Infected Mushroom songs- they were long ^^). I admit, I skipped one or two because by the time the song was over I would not have gotten anything- like songs from the Lord Of The Rings soundtrack and Afro Celt songs (which are all in some language I do not understand), but they were really hard okay, I did the best I could!**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this often very random drabbles. Please Review!!**


	21. Voodoo Doll

**Voodoo Doll**

She had… connected with him.

Ever since that match, when he caught her in his shadow and forced her to do as she did, she had been irrevocably bonded with him, a bond that had only strengthened over the years.

It was almost as if his shadow had never let go of her, the extent to which his actions affected her.

And of course, it had only become worse when they had become involved romantically. The tie became stronger, she was even more sensitive to what happened to him.

It scared her. It annoyed her. It was unavoidable.

When he had failed in a mission, she felt as if she had failed in a mission. When he insisted it was his fault his friends were injured, she wanted to take that blame. When he was injured, she could almost feel his pain. When he was distraught, she felt like crying with him. When he was angry, she grew angry- with him or at him depended on the situation. When he was threatened, she was protective- as she should be, considering that it was normally her brothers doing the threatening. When he was stressed and busy, she did whatever she could to lessen his workload. When he was happy, she was relaxed and happy. When he was irritable, she grew tense and snappy. When he was sleepy and lazy, she was lazy with him. When he was teasing, she teased him back. When he missed her, she missed him. When he fell in love with her, she returned the favour. When they fought, when he hurled barbed words at her, her heart shattered into a million pieces. When he apologized and held her as if he'd never let go, it was born again, a phoenix from the ashes.

He was her twisted voodoo doll, her Newton's Third Law.

And if he died, she knew part of her would die with him.

_This is not to say she had less of an effect on him. _

-END-

**A/N: Okay, so I twisted Newton's Third Law a bit, because her reaction may be equal but it's not necessarily opposite. But you know, ARTISTIC LICENSE!!! FTW!!**

**Okay, for everyone waiting on any of my other stories (Oh Baby and Asylum Kids) I have run into a slight problem. My laptop has stopped charging. And it has died. And all my stuff is on there. So until I can get that sorted out, I may be a bit on the DL. Even though for Asylum Kids I have written half of chapter 2 and the whole of the last chapter, so it's kinda annoying, because I did research and everything AND NOW I CAN'T WRITE IT! This I wrote during class last week., which is why I am able to put it up. But please bear with me and be patient, I am trying to sort it out! It's not just laziness (for once!)**

**That said, please review!**


	22. what they said

**what they said**

'troublesome woman.' iloveyou

'you're my guide, so guide me.' ineedyou

'when're you going back to suna so i can get some peace?' pleasedon'tleaveme

'gaara keeps sending me back to this infernal place.' imissedyou

'a woman can't do such a dangerous mission on her own.' iwoulddieforyou

'try not to get hit by any stray weapons, crybaby, i don't have time to save you.' iwoulddiewithoutyou

'you're more annoying than my mom.' youaremylife

'you just keep popping up, don't you?' youaremyfuture

iloveyouineedyoupleasedon'tleavemeimissedyouiwoulddieforyouiwoulddiewithoutyouyouaremylifeyouaremyfuture

that's what they Really said.

-end-


	23. Personal Pronouns

**Personal Pronouns**

Shikamaru tended to run his mouth off when he was drunk, with remarkable coherence, too.

In his defence, he hadn't meant to get drunk.

Someone had spiked the punch.

And he'd been thirsty.

And hadn't tasted the alcohol.

So… he was stumbling around the room, looking for a place to sit down.

"We're going out, you know," he said conversationally, "Yup. She's mine."

He tripped over air and simply remained lying on the ground. "She's really beautiful. And sexy. It's hard, but it works. Cos we want it to. I think I love her. He was right when he saw us then, he guessed right. But he's an idiot, so we got away with denying it. I really love her. I think they know, though. Or at least suspect. I think he sent him to spy on us. Or maybe it was his own idea. I don't know. But it was weird, and she caught him before we did anything."

He gave a helpless laugh. "She was pissed. At him. And he got angry at her, but he couldn't defend himself. Her argument was… well, logical. But wow, it was quite funny." He sighed. "But I'm sure they suspect. But wow, I really love her. And she's mine. Score." And he promptly passed out.

Chouji turned to Ino. "Did you follow that?" he asked.

"He used no names. I got so lost," she said dramatically, staring dazedly into the middle distance, her eyes slightly unfocused.

Chouji nodded, and looked down at his friend snoring peacefully on the floor.

"We all already knew, mate," he muttered, nudging him with his toe.

-END-

**A/N: Mrs Orum has a horum in her harum. XD We're so mature in Latin. Lol, 'none of you will know why Pimus pistis pants!!' (******** say it out loud. Like 'goat a yell.')**

…**Latin jokes. Like 'Finding Nemo'. Cos 'nemo' is Latin for 'no-one', so it's like 'Finding No-one'… that sounds fun. Heh. Heh.**

**Okay, maybe you have to be there.**

**Just ignore me.**

**Don't ask where this came from. **

**I thought the title was awesome and had to write something to accompany it.**

***shrug***

**Review?**


	24. Strong Coffee

**Strong Coffee**

You were the last person I expected to see leaning against my doorframe, a soft smile fluttering around your lips. You were as beautiful and vibrant as a raging fire against the evening light, all yellows and browns and reds contrasting beautifully with purply-blue bruised skies with the pinkish clouds illuminated by the very last hints of sunlight and pinprick stars just glimmering their way into existence.

It was a sight I wanted to preserve forever, better than any artwork of the so-called greats.

You weren't really meant to be there. You had just finished a mission and were passing by Konoha near nightfall, so you called for you team to camp there for the night. I was glad that you had, even if it was only for one night, because I wasn't due to see you for quite a while yet.

I wanted to savour every moment with you.

Your lips were soft and willing as I gently pressed mine against them, enveloping your hands with mine, and that was enough for me.

I made us some coffee to keep us awake, because I didn't want to miss a minute of you, and we settled in the lounge, talking about anything, everything.

Soon, you ended up lying on the couch with your head in my lap and we lapsed into a comfortable silence.

You fell asleep sometime in the early morning, and I watched you breathing deeply, looking so relaxed and peaceful.

The next thing I remember you were waking me with a gentle kiss to say goodbye, and after I'd thoroughly kissed you and hugged you tightly and said goodbye I watched your figure flying off into the distance.

I returned home and felt a smile pull at my lips when I came across the half cup of cold coffee on the lounge table.

-fin-

**A/N: I liked the idea, but this came out a little weird in my opinion. **

**Okay. I'm really sorry. Really really sorry to anyone who may be following any one of my other stories and waiting for updates. I'm getting there. I promise. This and the next drabble I wrote a little while ago and have only just gotten around to actually typing them up. **

**There's been computer troubles. As in, laptop charger troubles. And I got distracted. By schoolwork, kinda- in my final year of school, lotta work and pressure- and then I kinda… my old Harry Potter obsession raised it's head and… yeah… that led to discovering AVPM and then MAMD and then all other miscellaneous teamstarkid videos and songs (currently listening to Jaime Lyn Beatty singing 'Old Fashioned Love Story', and while typing this it was Darren Criss singing Disney covers) and then it was just kinda Teamstarkid, because they're awesome, and then the HP thing led to Wizard rock and… yeah… planning on how to make the biggest fools of ourselves at the midnight premiere of HP and the Deathly Hallows (part 1) later this year… and I've just been distracted.**

**Sorry.**

**Anyway, if you're even a slight HP fan I suggest you watch AVPM on youtube (AVPS (the sequel) coming out on youtube late July, woot) and for anyone else who doesn't have really sensitive sensitivities watch MAMD, it's brilliant ^^**


	25. Stilbly is ook 'n antwoord

**Stilbly is ook 'n antwoord**

"What the hell do you care?" he finally turned around and shouted one day. "Why do you care what I do with my life? I mean, it's not as if it'll affect you!" He glared at the presently surprised, blinking, infuriating blonde Sand woman standing in front of him.

It tore at him as the next words wrenched from his mouth. "I'm just some… kid from another village you fought once! What… what on earth could possess you to care so much about my future? And I mean- you're always… on at me! If I distress you so much why do you insist on following me around? And you keep coming back to Konoha, even when you don't need to, and then you're constantly with me! Why? Why do you care? I annoy you, so why do you keep coming back? And why would you choose to spend all your time with me? It's not like I _do_ anything!"

Chest heaving from his outburst, he faced the curiously tempting woman.

She didn't say anything.

Silently she held his gaze, arms folded and a wry expression on her face, and gradually, realization dawned on him.

"Wait, you mean…?" he said slowly.

And the walls came tumbling down.

-fin-

**A/N: Now it's Darren Criss, Joey Richter, Brian Holden, Nick Lang, Dylan Saunders and some other guy on a guitar performing AVPM songs live at Azcatraz. See? My obsession? It's brilliant. Please don't shout at me.**

**Oh yeah, notes on the story: 'stilbly is ook 'n antwoord' is in Afrikaans, a language spoken only in South Africa, which we're all forced to learn, and it means, roughly translated, 'Silence is also an answer.' Although 'stilbly' is more like 'staying quiet.' Yeah, I'm not the best at Afrikaans, nor do I particularly like it, but some phrases just work, and my teacher said this in class and it inspired this drabble. **

"**Cho Chang, domo arigato, Cho Chang, gung hey fat Choy Chang, Happy Happy New year, Cho Chang…."**


End file.
